Opening Up To Her
I just wish I could tell her how I feel about her. She's everything I look for in a girl. Class and style, good looks, modesty, a fun personality but what strikes me the most is her elegance! Sometimes I think she's so precious I wish I was like her but even I know I could never be.Don't get me wrong though, I hadn't intended on turning into a girl but maybe in my head I thought that even should I have been born a girl, I wouldn't have been like her, she's one in a million!
I've always thought her entire being was mesmerizing until recently, when I realized she was missing something. I don't know what it was about her but as I snapped out of whatever spell I was under I started exploring my feelings towards her more consciously and I've realized I'm in love with her.
I guess I should've known... She always hung out with the kind of slightly chubby and yet very pretty girls, who weren't being picked on so much as being admired. Girls would fight over their curves and yet they usually have a harder time finding a boyfriend, usually being friendzoned to hot studs of guys.
Regardless of their confidence out of which they radiate their beauty, taking good care about themselves, their appearance. Showing they really know a lot about make-up. And I sort of remember my entire life as though I had been on that side of the fence, specifically the nerdy chubby girl who put on the cutest clothes and had a good sense of fashion.
Never mind that I even was a man up until an hour ago. Yeah, I was. And I had heard she wasn't into men, which is why I said: "I should've known...". I always saw her try get close to girls like me but they were never interested in her. They always wanted to stay true to their male best friends, hoping they'd choose them one day...
Well, that ain't me. And I ain't a guy, so maybe as a girl AND her type of girl I might stand a chance. I certainly didn't remember when approaching her but we had been friends before and I was the first girl she had asked to have a thing with. I may not remember our friendship but I remember the stud I was best friends with and I remember not just having a peek but actually feeling it up and all...
You may think I have a hard time deciding but I just choose both. A good healthy lesbian relationship still needs that occasional dick, right?
Awkward but also something I'm now interested in? I honestly wonder what's different but I have no time to go over that now...
I still wanted to explain something before I got ready. I've been overrun by feelings of guilt. It was because of me she started asking out so many other girls, all sort of looking like me but even I see they didn't have what I had. Now I see I'm so much more like her than I realized when I was still a man an hour ago... But I was right. She was missing someone, her perfect match to be truly mesmerizing and I've always wanted to be stunning with someone else and who better than to be admired by- and with her? I'm, like, sooooo in cloud 9 right now!
This feels like such a happy ending, I'm meeting her later.
Date nightttt!!
Hi, Laurie! I'm "Elle-Jae" and I have just found your place here on the web.
ReplyDeleteI want to address your concerns about views and/or comments by saying that it takes some time to get things rolling... Especially after such a large "hiatus" since your initial posts and founding of this blog. (It has been a couple of months since I posted anything at my place so, I can relate to having some doubts about viewership.)
But this place is about you. And finding/being-at peace with yourself through the expression of who you are unable to share with others on your side of the keyboard - if my grasp of your notes and "About me" posts is near correct. So, remember that and do not be too concerned with getting comments from readers, (as they are often in the same r-l situation as you or I and have not decided to create an "alter-ego-user" through whom they might share their interest in TG/TF communities).
I might suggest that "being seen" is always helpful in attracting readers to your works, and leaving comments on others' blogs is a way of achieving that. But you do not necessarily need to say, "Hey; Check out my blog, here..." because many will find this place just by checking your profile from that comment. Another way might be to trade some caps at Rachel's Haven (dotcom) so that others can see and appreciate your work and follow you to here also.
Above all; If writing TG/TF stories/captions/comics/etc. helps you to be at peace by lending you a means of self-expression that you may not be able to indulge in your real-life circumstances, then just do it for that reason, without concern for viewership.
Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that you are not alone, neither unheard.
May you be well and find better peace with your writings.
Peace,Love&Kisses;
Elle
First of all, hey Ella-Jae, thanks for writing this message, it's heart-warming. Speaking of which, I read your bio too and basically I could copy paste it,just so that we're clear, I've created an alter ego more or less. "My Room" isn't really my room and what I look like as person, which I have yet to describe, won't be how I really look either. My main struggle is lying to people, even if I'm being anonymous and no one would be the wiser... This is where most uneasyness and insecurity comes from, pretending to be the girl I was meant to be. If that makes sense?
DeleteI guess everything on my blog up until now is how I wish my life would've turned out but really, on all blogs I've ever seen I see sexual stuff and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to make that a part of the blog but I've been holding out for a while and I've written some captions/stories with sexual elements in it, so I guess I'll post them some day.
The only place I've ever posted on was on opentgcaptions dotcom, I had only postyed 2 or 3 captions but they got a lot of likes and that just made me happy, feel more satisfied. So I kinda moved away from blogger and since I was at school (which turned out to be the biggest disappointment in my life, even bigger than my gender) I dropped blogger and stuck with opentgcaptions every now and then but mostly just reading. Then I discovered e-hentai and from there I migrated back to blogger.
Even when it comes to commenting on others' blogs, I'm still kinda shy but anyway, I've been featured over at spindizzy's and leslietgcafe's blogs now and I get a lot of views even though it's been weeks since I've posted anything.
Should I post daily I might jumpstart the blog just yet!
And maybe I might just do what you offered me to do but if opentgcaptions comes back I'll just stick with opentgcaptions and my blog. No need for exchanging caps.
I guess I'll see, time will tell. I like to be chill about things. Give things time. I'm just sometimes a bit in a (depressive) mood. But aren't we all? :) I always keep positive though.
Sincerely,
Aurélie